Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Go F*ck and/or Bl*g Yourself.

After all, they ARE both 4-letter words. For just a couple minutes I need ALL you A.D.D.-havin’ motherfuckers (and by all, I mean the 2 people that will read this) to follow me like I’m fucking Lady Gaga. No, not like I’m literally FUCKING Lady Gaga (gives new meaning to “PokerFace” doesn’t it?). alg_lady_gaga Gross. Just pay attention like I’m Lady Gaga on Twitter. I’m givin’ ya pearls here.

I like 4-letter words, like hell, fuck, shit, cunt, damn, and oprah; but I have grown to hate the word “bl*g”.

Recently the wife was sitting in front of her laptop chuckling to herself. I peeked over her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t looking at midget-porn again. She wasn’t. It was much worse. It was a fucking bl*g. She has been following it for a while now, and I’m pretty sure every other married woman with an internet connection in America does as well. I will not mention it by name, so as not to start a “bl*g-beef” with the author. I’m pretty sure she would crush me with either her rapist wit, or her shiny new IPad complete with Juicy Couture case.

My point is that bl*gs are horseshit. Yes, including Hip-Hop bl*gs (not all of them, just some). Motive is the key here. Have you ever watched a “reality” TV show? Shame on you then. It’s pretty obvious that EVERYONE acts differently in front of a camera (when they are aware that a camera is present), except for taser victims. So, when someone that writes on a blog sits down with their fucking herbal tea, after jerking off to “Glee”


(again, gross), why do they write what they write? Because someone is reading it and will comment and be like, all, “I wish I could be you or be inside you, or maybe you could be inside me”, or maybe because they need a paycheck, or maybe they think they are smart and people actually give a shit about what they have to say. I really can’t analyze that too much, because I don’t read bl*gs very often.

Just stop being fake. Stop making shit in your life happen so it will be interesting to write about on your bl*g. Stop writing reviews because you are getting paid. Stop flip-flopping on your opinion based on what other people think. Stop putting ads on your bl*g for money. I'm gonna finish getting drunk and break some more of my shitty Ikea furniture. Peace.

P.S. I love Hip Hop.

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