Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Go F*ck and/or Bl*g Yourself.

After all, they ARE both 4-letter words. For just a couple minutes I need ALL you A.D.D.-havin’ motherfuckers (and by all, I mean the 2 people that will read this) to follow me like I’m fucking Lady Gaga. No, not like I’m literally FUCKING Lady Gaga (gives new meaning to “PokerFace” doesn’t it?). alg_lady_gaga Gross. Just pay attention like I’m Lady Gaga on Twitter. I’m givin’ ya pearls here.

I like 4-letter words, like hell, fuck, shit, cunt, damn, and oprah; but I have grown to hate the word “bl*g”.

Recently the wife was sitting in front of her laptop chuckling to herself. I peeked over her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t looking at midget-porn again. She wasn’t. It was much worse. It was a fucking bl*g. She has been following it for a while now, and I’m pretty sure every other married woman with an internet connection in America does as well. I will not mention it by name, so as not to start a “bl*g-beef” with the author. I’m pretty sure she would crush me with either her rapist wit, or her shiny new IPad complete with Juicy Couture case.

My point is that bl*gs are horseshit. Yes, including Hip-Hop bl*gs (not all of them, just some). Motive is the key here. Have you ever watched a “reality” TV show? Shame on you then. It’s pretty obvious that EVERYONE acts differently in front of a camera (when they are aware that a camera is present), except for taser victims. So, when someone that writes on a blog sits down with their fucking herbal tea, after jerking off to “Glee”

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(again, gross), why do they write what they write? Because someone is reading it and will comment and be like, all, “I wish I could be you or be inside you, or maybe you could be inside me”, or maybe because they need a paycheck, or maybe they think they are smart and people actually give a shit about what they have to say. I really can’t analyze that too much, because I don’t read bl*gs very often.

Just stop being fake. Stop making shit in your life happen so it will be interesting to write about on your bl*g. Stop writing reviews because you are getting paid. Stop flip-flopping on your opinion based on what other people think. Stop putting ads on your bl*g for money. I'm gonna finish getting drunk and break some more of my shitty Ikea furniture. Peace.

P.S. I love Hip Hop.

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