Thursday, November 27, 2008

Turkey Day...WTF?

Lemme start this off with wishing everyone a happy and safe Thanksgiving. Today is a day to give thanks for all that we have been given this year. A time to remember the forefathers and natives getting together for dinner and all that good shit. I don't know where, when, or how it came about but I also like to give thanks for adding turkey and pumpkin pie to dinner that night sometime in the 16th Century. It is because of that delicious little entree that I will be a turkey zombie in a tryptophan coma most of the night at work...yes, unfortunately I have to work tonight!
Sooo, on to the main event but first let me stray for one more second and say this...I will never understand bigotry or should I say sheer stupidity.
Let me paint the picture for you, before we get to the actual picture. I have just finished a bachelor party weekend in Vegas (insert "Vegas baybeeeee" here and get dealt a swift kick in the nuts) and normally..."what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" but this was too good to leave alone.
I board the first leg, Las Vegas to Salt Lake City, hungthefuckover, tired, caked with the aroma of stale beer and cigarettes, and in a generally annoyed mood. I stow my carry on in the overhead compartment, take my seat, seat belt, iPod, chill. After takeoff, I immediately(and for no real reason) turn into the asshole that reads over your shoulder on the plane. Guy in front...boring tech type magazine, little old lady across the aisle...snoozing, and permeating the now pressurized cabin air with her wicked old lady perfume smell. What is with that smell anyway? Does anyone have any insight into why in the hell every old lady has that same perfume? For me, it is second only to the horrifyingly nauseating smell of walking into the dentist's office...as if the smell of bad, trench mouth breath isn't bad enough...geezus...ullllkkk. Makes me half vomit just thinking about it.
I digress, so I take a peek at the dude sitting one row up and across the aisle...JYACKPOT! It was like the goldmine of over the shoulder reading...


Did I say that we were flying from Las Vegas to SALT LAKE CITY...that's like a direct flight from depths of hell to the gates of heaven (or vice versa depending on your beliefs), from Sin City to the City Brigham Young built. Now I have never claimed to be the smartest guy on the planet, but this is just astounding. I'm not sure what the "weekly" news paper is like in good ol' Salt Lake City, but here in Seattle it is pretty liberal with content...pretty sure I have seen a few "Bear seeking Cub", "slave for Master or Mistress" personal ads in there, no homo. I mean, not only does it say the above, but it also goes on to say that they have identified a "spore" that may be causing homosexuality! What the shit? So after I read this, I calmly stood up and got my camera out of the aforementioned overhead compartment and took this wonderful over the shoulder picture for our viewing pleasure. When I got home, I uploaded it to my computer and promptly emailed it to all my gay friends with the heading..."Please stop doing gay things!!", needless to say they all laughed their asses off. To Elder Scott Trotter, I say this "fuck you" is for you!!! Peace.

1 comment:

cephas said...

I'm wit'cha on this one. I hope "Elder Scott Trotter" can hear, 'cuz I'm sayin' FUCK YOU loud and clear.